When Mother's Day Hurts

Written By Tamara Niedermann

For most women Mother's Day is a day of tulips, and brunches and pastels, when we get to honor the beautiful women in our lives. Our Instagram feeds are full of picture collages of mothers at varying ages captioned with "I love you's" and heart eye emoticons. Spouses and children make breakfast in bed, and home made cards, and you get to revel in your motherhood. Then we call our mother's and wish them love today.

But for some, Mother's Day is a day not soon enough forgotten. It's painful, and complicated, and it's endured in silence. Everywhere they go today, motherhood is the focus. They sit in church while children pass out gifts to the mothers around them. Restaurants have Mother's Day specials. The end caps at Target are floral and themed for the day and it can be so difficult.

To the women who suffer today,

Those who have lost a child

Those who've lost their mothers

Those who so desperately want children, yet don't have them

Those who had terrible mothers they wished they could exchange

Be good to yourself today. Honor the emotions you are feeling. Don't let anyone shame you, or question you. Surround yourself with love and light, and people who get you.

I see you today. I know the pain you carry with you, and with this I honor you today.

Grace & Peace.

 

Tamara Niedermann

hi! i'm tamara, creator and owner of the kindred feminine. i have always known i am at my best when i was in support of the people around me. i surrounded myself with deep connections -- people who i could know and live life with. that desire for deep relationship is what has guided my journey to birth work, herbalism, and supporting the birthing and bleeding people in my community.

six years ago, when my younger sister and her husband started their parenting journey, she started sharing the things she was learning about pregnancy and labor. i watched documentaries with her. i read the books she recommended, and i realized that there was another way to birth your babies. until that point, the idea of home birth and midwives and doulas were sort of a joke. in movies and television they portray midwives as the hippy lady with incense and beads -- which to be fair that midwife exists and now i strive to be worthy of her -- but she's played as a joke. it took these books and documentaries, and new perspectives to show me that midwifery and doulas are legitimate callings, and home birth is a legitimate option.

simultaneous to my birth worker journey, i was coming into a better understanding of my womanhood and i wanted to have more holistic options for interacting with my fertility. so, i transitioned from hormonal birth control to the sympto-thermal method of fertility awareness to track my cycles, and then i switched out my single use menstrual products for reusables. both of these changes gave me a deeper knowledge of my cycles and my body

my growing love for fertility and body literacy combined with my heart for birthing and bleeding people and pregnancy, started me on this incredible journey of learning, and growth, and stewardship of the wisdom that has been passed to me.

the kindred feminine serves all birthing and bleeding people by supporting pregnant people prenatally, attending out of hospital births, and in the postpartum time. tamara teaches bodily autonomy through the fertility awareness method. i processes placentas, and makes herbal preparations including teas, baths, salves, and tinctures and elixirs.

i'm a bisexual cis woman who uses the pronouns she, hers, and her. i’m a newlywed in my early thirties. i'm the daughter of an immigrant single mother. i'm an advocate for fat positivity, body hair acceptance, lgbtq families, body literacy, and bodily autonomy for all people. i'm a birth keeper, and an herb

https://thekindredfeminine.com
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