The most important thing you'll check off your to do list.

Written By Tamara Niedermann

Our days are full.

We all work --maybe that's in an office, or a restaurant, or as a home maker. Some of us are parents. Some of us are students. God bless you, some of you are parents AND students. We have relationships to maintain. We have friends and family who need our time and attention. Some of you have new babies at home. Babies that are strapped to you 80% of the day so they can access the boob at a moments notice, and so that you can get through the 1,402 things on your to do list.

I work full time at my day job, I am growing a small business, and I am active in the birth community. I have a boyfriend, and friends, and family that I need to invest it and sometimes it can feel like it's all too much. How are we supposed to do it all? 

The answer is simple: self care. We have to add 'me' to our list of things to do. And I don't mean at the very bottom once everything else has been taken care of. We need to do something that fills up our spirit. We all need to be doing one thing every day that we are excited about.

Maybe that's reading a book.

Or having a cup of tea on the porch. 

Or riding your bike.

Or doing yoga. 

Or praying.

Or taking a nice long nap. 

Or maybe you're like me and you love sitting in the sand at the beach. 

Whatever it is for you --whatever self care looks like to you, it's so important that you do it. We can't continually pour out if we have nothing in our tank. We need to be refilled. We need to be refreshed. We may have to say no to that bake sale, or to having people over, or taking on that next project, to make sure we can invest in ourselves. Saying "no" might make us uncomfortable, especially if we're people pleasers, but even if it's just once a week, doing something just for us will give us what we need to keep from burning out, or losing ourselves in the doing.

Self care will make us better moms.

Better birth workers.

Better students.

Better wives.

Better sisters.

Better employees.

Better friends.

As women and as care givers we have been taught to put others first, but we won't do any good for anyone if we don't first invest in ourselves. Do something that is life giving today. I live close to the beach so I am going out today after work. Maybe I'll bring a book. I will definitely have a margarita and one of my soul friends, and I am going to absorb some vitamin D, enjoy God's creation and refresh my spirit. 

What do you like to do for self care? Let me know in the comments. 

Tamara Niedermann

hi! i'm tamara, creator and owner of the kindred feminine. i have always known i am at my best when i was in support of the people around me. i surrounded myself with deep connections -- people who i could know and live life with. that desire for deep relationship is what has guided my journey to birth work, herbalism, and supporting the birthing and bleeding people in my community.

six years ago, when my younger sister and her husband started their parenting journey, she started sharing the things she was learning about pregnancy and labor. i watched documentaries with her. i read the books she recommended, and i realized that there was another way to birth your babies. until that point, the idea of home birth and midwives and doulas were sort of a joke. in movies and television they portray midwives as the hippy lady with incense and beads -- which to be fair that midwife exists and now i strive to be worthy of her -- but she's played as a joke. it took these books and documentaries, and new perspectives to show me that midwifery and doulas are legitimate callings, and home birth is a legitimate option.

simultaneous to my birth worker journey, i was coming into a better understanding of my womanhood and i wanted to have more holistic options for interacting with my fertility. so, i transitioned from hormonal birth control to the sympto-thermal method of fertility awareness to track my cycles, and then i switched out my single use menstrual products for reusables. both of these changes gave me a deeper knowledge of my cycles and my body

my growing love for fertility and body literacy combined with my heart for birthing and bleeding people and pregnancy, started me on this incredible journey of learning, and growth, and stewardship of the wisdom that has been passed to me.

the kindred feminine serves all birthing and bleeding people by supporting pregnant people prenatally, attending out of hospital births, and in the postpartum time. tamara teaches bodily autonomy through the fertility awareness method. i processes placentas, and makes herbal preparations including teas, baths, salves, and tinctures and elixirs.

i'm a bisexual cis woman who uses the pronouns she, hers, and her. i’m a newlywed in my early thirties. i'm the daughter of an immigrant single mother. i'm an advocate for fat positivity, body hair acceptance, lgbtq families, body literacy, and bodily autonomy for all people. i'm a birth keeper, and an herb

https://thekindredfeminine.com
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